I spent most of my childhood being an overachiever – the thought of failure wasn’t an option. By my teens, I tried so hard to fit in. I jumped from “friendship” group to “friendship” group. I recently added someone I recognised from my teen years on facebook and she messaged me saying I looked familiar but she couldn’t remember why – and the truth is – I couldn’t remember who our mutual friend was or how I had met her but I knew I remembered her and her name from somewhere! And as an adult, I am not friends or close to anyone from school – and sometimes that makes me sad but my change in hobbies/interests changed who I spent my time with – and I don’t think I ever got close to anyone.

Whilst I have friends – I wouldn’t say I have a best friend – my mum and my partner are the closest thing I have to best friends because they know how to deal with me when I have a moment. I am also very busy – and constantly sleepy – so trying to find time between work, seeing James, the dogs, and whatever hobby I have decided I NEED to do at the time.

I am very lucky that my friends do understand that sometimes I just forget, or that something can be out of sight, out of mind – it isn’t that I don’t care and they get that. I frequently get ‘just checking in’ messages and they mean more to me than I can explain.

I spent most of my adult life in failed relationships unable to regulate my feelings or my mood. I was misdiagnosed many times. I was depressed, I had anxiety, I was Bipolar, I had BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and then it was ADHD. As soon as I got there, I did a complete 180. I was happy – I have a partner who I never argue with (or extremely rarely at least). I understood why I did things. I try and plan my days to allow time for me to take a break, and journal about my day – I vent and I move on.

I don’t take medication. Initially it was because I never had money and I begrudge spending money on prescriptions when I know people who can go to work, but fiddle the system and don’t and get theirs for free (I said what I said, and I’m not sorry for it!) – I stopped taking my antidepressants for the same reason. And maybe I am an old soul, but people coped with life without medication for years before ADHD was a known illness.

How does ADHD affect me as an adult?

• I have the concentration span of a 2 year old
• Or on the flipside of that, I hyperfocus and get mad when someone interrupts me.
• BUT – I interrupt conversations because if I don’t say what I need to say I will forget
• I will forget where I put something I had 5 seconds ago
• I’ll tell a story, that has about 6 other stories involved and I loop through them before going back to the point…. or I forget the point and have to abandon the whole story
• I can drink monster and coffee all day – and sleep 5 minutes after hitting the pillow
• I can drink water all day and not sleep at all
• I often forget to drink… and eat
• I will be obsessed with something for a period of time – a day, a week, a month – and then I’m done
  • I have an ottoman bed which Jubs calls “the place my ADHD obsessions go to die” – but I keep them just in case
• I spend a lot of money on new hobbies/obsessions
• I’m organised and messy. At work it is borderline OCD – I have folders for everything – I have to name all the files in the same format. And it stresses me out when people try and help but don’t get it correct. But at home, I have a floor-drobe, and 9 times out of 10 I’ll know what pile something is in.
• I have days where I can get all the work I planned done and more – and days where I do about 2-3 tasks I needed to do because I haven’t been able to concentrate.

Everything got a lot easier once I understood WHY I was the way that I was. I have bad days, I’ll leave work – take my laptop – and log in for an hour later in the evening to make up for that time I couldn’t concentrate at work. But I don’t get as emotional about things as much either. Having the best people around me that support and understand has also been a massive help too!

I’d love to hear about your experiences with ADHD! Please comment below and share!